Our school system takes a break every 6 weeks. It took some time getting used to these breaks because more traditional school systems do breaks a little differently with longer summers and holiday breaks. We’ve come to enjoy these more regular breaks through out the year.
I imagine these breaks are difficult for parents who have to work and find affordable child care for their littles when school is out at times when no other schools are out. You’d be surprised how hard this is. Our city recreation system does a pretty good job of offering camps to cover these times. They aren’t free, but they are affordable and there is assistance when needed so that is great. Ideally we’d travel during every break, but we aren’t balling like that right now.
While I appreciate the downtime in the boys constant schedule, I must admit that breaks with THING 1 (without traveling) suck. He wants to do absolutely nothing on these breaks. He has defined a break as a suspension of all activity, from sports to basic hygiene. He is resistant to doing anything. He doesn’t want to go to therapy or piano practice. He wants to play video games and watch youtube videos about developing video games. I
I’d totally accommodate his desires if I knew it wouldn’t be absolute hell getting him back on schedule. A total shutdown sounds great until I remember that my kid is on the spectrum. It takes him exactly one day to undo a habit that took years to develop. The lack of structure and routine is overwhelming for him. Pulling him out of the video game vortex is an agonizing interaction, as is getting him back on track enough to go to school Monday. Getting his sleep schedule back together takes weeks. While we’d all love nothing more than to go off the rails for a week, we just don’t have the luxury of that option. It’s too hard!
I will say, I’m pretty sure “typical” kids go through similar withdrawals. I believe what is so special about Spectrum kids is their ability to feel right on the surface, everything that most of us experience deep down. We lie to ourselves about it. We have bad attitudes and smart mouths in response to things that are unrelated to whatever we are pissed about. With THING 1, you can’t mistake what you did to piss him off. He is happy to let you know.
It is Friday of a weeklong break and I had to drag him out of the house for track. He mumbled about it the entire way. I’m sure my poor husband is on the receiving end of some rearview mirror eye rolls and under the breath comments about how horrible it all is. When track practice is over, he will behave as if he is dying of pollen inhalation and he will blame us with his eyes and judge us with snarky comments. We will stare at each other, and shake our heads. We know it is coming and we know he can’t help it.
He wants to go to track. It sounds like he doesn’t, right? But he does. He wants to get better and compete successfully. He wants to see his friends. But all of this is contrary to his prior definition of Break. Suggesting that he redefine it for himself has gone over like a lead balloon. Pointing out how much fun he has is irrelevant. Reminding him that he actually enjoys this activity is a moot point. Because a break means cessation of all activity. So what do we do? We keep the schedule going, because no one can actually break from everything. And he should learn that now. We push him out the door and ignore the eye rolls and mumblings. We talk as if we don’t notice his reactions. Then we pick him up from whatever activity and we move on. We do it every day of every 6th week, and for 8 weeks of summer. We just do it.
