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Uncategorized

Take It Down

Tonight the confederate monument was removed from the square in The City of Decatur.

We decided to drive by and watch. We all wore masks and the boys and I wore our new Let Us Breath tees.

As I stood there watching this massive phallic symbol of hatred and failure come down, I thought about my first year at The University of Georgia. Freshman year was a rude awakening. I moved from Southwest Atlanta to Athens, Georgia. In Southwest Atlanta, there were all types of black people. In Athens, most of the black adults I saw were janitorial staff. I went from having all black to teachers every year, to three black professors in four years. I went from being surrounded by people who looked like me, to having classes with hundreds of kids, none of whom looked like me.

Driving down the main drag in Athens in 1994, you’d find multiple cars with extra large confederate flags. They were flown from some of the houses on fraternity row. They were every where. Confederate flags weren’t a part of my education prior to Athens. They weren’t flown with any frequency during my childhood even though it was basically the state flag. I don’t recall seeing one outside of books though I’m sure my parents did.

Once a random frat boy struck up a conversation with me during a study group for one of my larger classes. It was polite chit chat until I noticed a the confederate flag on something in his possession. I can’t remember what. I asked him why he carried it. He told me story about heritage. About his great grand whomever who fought in the war of northern aggression. About how they were fighting for states’ rights and not to keep slavery. I asked him where he learned what he thought he knew. His family had a rich oral history and vaguely mentioned some books that documented the tales.

I recalled my words to him as I watched the crew lift the 34 foot high shaft and lower it to the truck that would cart it away. What I said in 1994 is still as true 26 years later. When you look at that flag you see your history, and I see mine too. I see a history of hatred and bigotry, glorified by white people who lost their cause. I told him that if he wanted to represent himself that way to every black person who met him, he should keep waving that flag. And despite his intentions, I would never see him any differently than I see that flag. As long as these monuments to honor the confederacy stand, I will never believe those defending them or calling for them to remain in place, are anything other than hateful bigot losers.

As much as I want many other things to happen for black lives in this country, I couldn’t help but feel hopeful tonight. Hopeful that maybe people would care more about who they are right now than constantly harkening back to a mythical past. Hopeful that finally, how we are being treated right now would be more important than a flag or a statue. We have a long way to go. This is a start.

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Justice Uncategorized

On Policing

My first negative interaction with police occurred when I was 15 years old. I remember it was a Christmas break. My brother was home from his freshman year in college and my cousin and I went with him and a friend to a Jerome Rowe party. It was somewhere downtown, I don’t remember where I was. I was still in the party that was about to end. People were making their way to the exit. As I walked down the steps I saw my brother being walked to a police van in handcuffs. I ran up. “Why are you arresting my brother?” “Because I told him to move on and he didn’t.” “It isn’t illegal to stand on the street and he was waiting for me.” “I don’t care and if you keep asking me questions I’m going to arrest you too.” My brother had his keys in his handcuffed hands and threw them to me. He said some choice words before the van doors were closed.

I drove my brother’s old fleetwood cadillac home. I stayed on the surface streets because I didn’t have a fucking license. I dropped his friend at home on the way. I made it home at close to 2am and woke my parents. My parents got up in the middle of the night to go get him. We made it home. They found my brother and brought him home. The charges were dropped immediately. I didn’t sleep that night. I haven’t thought of that story in years. But that story lives in my body. It lives in the suspicion I’ve had for all police since that moment.

I’ve had positive interaction with police since then. Mostly positive I’ll admit. But I have eyes and ears. I’m not blind. I see. I see the statistics – I see the how often police in this country kill people, black people in particular. I see the people who are over policed and arrested most. I see who remains silent when families are mourning and asking for justice. My suspicion is justified.

I have not taught my sons to hate police. I’ve taught them that most police are good, but there are bad people with badge. Honestly, I think the low barrier to entry, the weapon, and the power that comes with a badge is too enticing for certain personalities to resist. There are certain kinds of people who will be attracted to that for all the wrong reasons. Reimagining policing would start to weed some of that out. If you eliminate the shielding and protection of bad officers and focus on protecting and serving instead of catching bad guys, I believe the result would be different. If you focus on the mental health of officers (and the high amount of former military folks who become officers) you’d have a different result.

I have taught my sons to mind their hands when interacting with police. Don’t resist. I’ve told them it is ok to go to jail. Can you imagine telling your kid that? We can get you out of jail. We can deal with whatever charges are levied against you. I don’t want to scoop your body off of the street.

My oldest son is on the Autism Spectrum. He wears head phones everywhere. He doesn’t hear you if you aren’t making eye contact. If you surprise him, he very often swings fists in response. He is difficult to calm down when overstimulated. He tends to respond to the vibe of a situation before he can have a conversation. He moves instinctually. Watching the video of Jay Pharoah walking down the street after a jog while police approached him from behind with guns drawn scared the shit out of me. I immediately imagined my son in that situation. How can entrust the safety of one of the most precious parts of my life to people who see him as a threat before they know him? How can I entrust my safety to any of them if they won’t sniff out their own rotten eggs?

We try not to drive through rural areas at night. A few weeks ago we were thinking about driving to Texas. I didn’t really want to fly in the midst of a pandemic. As I thought through the logistics of the road trip, I realized I’d planned it to avoid driving through any rural areas at night. I thought about whether the SUV we’d rent would be tented. Police seem easier around families. I thought about where we might have to take bathroom and food breaks along the way. Driving across the Southeast. I was concerned about germs, the virus, and the people we’d encounter. What type of police are in these little towns? We decided to fly.

I would like to take a road trip without concern for my safety because of the color of my skin, specifically from police. I would love the privilege of worrying about garden variety things like whether we can grab food at a Wholefoods along the way instead of stopping for fast food. How nice the hotel is and if they have pool side bar service. For now I will catch my flight.

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Justice

Sandra Bland

Black Voices Framed Art Print Courtesy of www.society6.com

This is our country. No matter what color you are, this should outrage you. You should look in the mirror and say to yourself: “Self, did I do anything today or this week to be helpful to someone other than my family? Did I think about or consider a change in my day, an adjustment in policy that I control, or support for an issue where I can make a difference for people whose voices are not as loud or as strong as mine?”

People are losing their lives, losing opportunity to do and be better and make a difference in this country because of what they look like. Not what they did. And a society that is cool with that is begging for the slippery slope to make its way from this woman’s house all the way to your door step. And when it is your kid, mom, sister or brother, it is too late.

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Justice

State Of Confusion

Thinking about the Zimmerman verdict, Trayvon Martin and his family, young black me and the realities of racial profiling, my husband, my sons, and the young black male teens on a crime spree over here on the east side of Atlanta. The unfairness that people can’t dress and look the way they want without judgment, the reality that life is not fair. Then I realize how confusing it all is. Do not be deceived or distracted. If y’all want to be mad, get mad at satan, who probably wrote this script and is loving all the anger and hatred flowing on both sides of this issue.

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Justice

King Center Visit

I took the boys on their first trip to the King Center. Looking at those exhibits reminded me that it hasn’t been that long. My parents were teens during the civil rights movement which means the very people fighting against equality are still alive. There are a lot of black folk still suffering the ripple effects of slavery, post slavery era, Jim Crow and welfare. Those of us that have prospered should not look down on our brothers and sisters who have not. And to my non-black friends, and friends from other parts of the country, please take time to watch a few PBS specials that go deeper than “We Shall Overcome”. The disparities in this country still exist.